Apuntes para la desmemoria: mi abuelo y Fidel

Por Jessica Mesa Duarte

La memoria es una estrella fugaz para él. Aparecen y desaparecen a ratos episodios de su vida, nombres, hechos ocurridos solo minutos atrás. Recordar es un privilegio que lo abandonó hace ya varios años. En los días de la muerte de Fidel la intermitente ventaja de evocar se tornó un continuo y doloroso martirio.

¡¿Qué murió Fidel?!, me preguntaba incrédulo mi abuelo quien, como muchos cubanos, quizás pensó que el hombre capaz de seducir a un pueblo con palabras y el ejemplo mereció hace mucho tiempo el derecho a violar las leyes naturales y divinas. ¡Coño, se ha perdido un gran hombre!, se lamenta con la voz entrecortada y pocas veces había visto tanto dolor desbordársele del rostro.

Mi abuelo fue quien, desde mis primeros años, me inculcó el amor por la Patria, por la Revolución, que para él es lo mismo que amar a Fidel. ¡Yo soy fidelista!, siempre me dice con un orgullo que heredé, que hice mío.

Él conoció mejor sus proezas, fueron contemporáneos. A veces no recuerda cuántos abriles atesoran su almanaque y me increpa cuando le aseguro que son casi 9 décadas las que ha vivido. Duda, me mira con sospecha hasta que le digo que Fidel nació en 1926, un año antes que él, y acumula 90 invencibles años. ¡Ah verdad, mija! Entonces yo tengo 89.

Mi abuelo olvida su edad, las letras de las canciones, las fechas y hasta el nombre de sus familiares; pero nunca falla cuando le pregunto por qué admira tanto a Fidel, por qué depositó, más que un voto de confianza, todas sus esperanzas en aquel muchacho, solo un año mayor que él cuando comenzaba a escribirse un capítulo de luz en nuestra historia.

De su mano supe de la afiliación a la ortodoxia, de la increíble valentía de aquel barbudo que siendo un joven rebelde hizo de su nombre una leyenda cuando todavía en Cuba reinaban el hambre, los desalojos y asesinatos. Con él me convencí de la entrega de Fidel al pueblo, bajo cualquier circunstancia, a la defensa de las causas justas, dentro o fuera de nuestras fronteras.

Escuché la admiración de su voz al hablar de su férreo enfrentamiento al imperialismo, a todo lo que intentara agredir la soberanía de nuestra isla, de la solidaridad que hizo bandera de la Revolución desde sus inicios y la vastísima cultura que le permitió esa elegancia delicada al hablar sin dejar de denunciar cuañquier ofensa hacia la inmensa obra que Cuba construyó.

Conocí sobre la confianza absoluta que inspiró en los cubanos, la manera en que todos lo seguían como a un padre. Hasta lo escuché decir que, durante el Período Especial, en los difíciles años de escaseces en la isla, no importaba que las noches se alumbraran solo con estrellas por los “apagones”, ni que el plato que llevarían a la mesa al otro día estaría servido con incógnitas porque Fidel estaba ahí, como siempre, al frente de su país, poniéndole el pecho y las ideas a cada situación. Él confió en que el Comandante sacaría al pueblo de aquella incertidumbre económica. Tal es la fe que sembró en los cubanos.

Hace ya casi dos meses el cuerpo de ese gigante se ha ido, pero inalcanzable sigue siendo su estatura. Los grandes hombres, los que siembran respeto y paz deberían merecer la licencia de la inmortalidad. ¿Cómo despedir a quien no se ha ido, a quien no se irá jamás porque siempre será imprescindible?

Me abuelo me interroga nuevamente tras la noticia que se escucha en la televisión. Una y otra vez vuelve a enrojecérsele la mirada ante la difícil afirmación; una y otra vez en el día las lágrimas brotan de esos hermosos ojos verdes tallados con las líneas del implacable paso de los años; una y otra vez mi abuelo revive la triste realidad que desde el 25 de noviembre enfrentamos los cubanos.

Fidel ha muerto y él todavía no lo cree. Nosotros tampoco.

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